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The open mind!

The Deeper Meaning. By Kevin Lemon

There is always a deeper meaning behind the things that we do unconsciously. Me being an Atheist has opened my eyes to different ideas that I couldn’t have ever perceived being a staunch theist. With that being said, I see the value that prayer holds for theists. It is a way for them to express to themselves and others a deep desire or hope for not only themselves but someone else. When they express those hopes within their beliefs, they have faith that there is some omnipotent and

all powerful being that has the power to make those hopes and desires come to pass. But ultimately they are praying to chance. And chance has no favorites. But that is not as important as them having the hope in the first place, even if it is a false hope. It still means something for someone to earnestly invest their heart into hoping someone else has fortune and happiness. Don’t you think?

Letting go of false hope

I have let go of false hope and faith. I hope good things happen for someone but I don’t participate in the mind numbing idea that it makes a difference. I don’t try to hope for something wonderful to happen in the midst of tragedy, it just happens to me naturally because of the emotional attachment that I may have to someone that I care about. Honestly if it is someone I don’t care about then it really makes no difference either way. Though I do respect others for doing what they do. I do know that if it works great if it doesn’t then boo hoo. I would rather do something than to hope for something.

Kevin Lemon’s opinions are not necessarily the opinions of The Viewsual Suspects.

Fin

The religiosity of preference.by Kevin Lemon

I have had many conversations with family and friends about different media and art forms t

hat I like and dislike, what they’ve liked and disliked as well, and most of the time we get into these tug of war battles over the topic of what we prefer. It’s strange how this happens all the time and people don’t realize. I am sure that all of you have engaged in this struggle as much as I have. It is the religiosity of preference. We like what we like and we expect

everyone to like what we like too! And if they don’t we feel like we are entitled to tell them they are wrong for not liking what we like…….?

Talking about this makes it sound strange doesn’t it?

And yet it happens over and over again. For one reason or another we religiousl

y espouse how great our preferences are and form unflattering temporary opinions of those who do not share our optimism for said preference. For example my Father and I would get into a heated debate over which is better. Lou Malnattis or Home Runn Inn. My father exclaiming that my taste buds are just off. Or if I go see a movie with a loved one. If I believe the movie is great. A certain family member of mine would go out of their way to explain to me why I shouldn’t like it. Why they didn’t like it. And go on annoyingly and matter of fact like believing there is something wrong with me because of

my preference. This explains away the whole fan boy phenomenon. It’s extremely sad when you really think about it.

Yes I Think  Little Wayne Sucks! But if you like to listen to him, then knock yourself out.

So Why pray-tell does this behavior persist?

I believe it is the super ego of an individual that is trying to create a heard mentality over such things because it creates safety in their own decision making. Let’s face it. People are only as complicated as their simple desires.

What does that mean?

It means  most of the things that motivate us to behave in this way stems from the emotion of fear. Everything can be derived from the lack of or prevalence of this emotion. So for crying out loud stop trying so hard to boost your ego and try to explain why someone should share your opinion about things. Especially subjective things like pop art and food. Let them choose for whatever reason what they like, or don’t like. It might make a powerful impression on them about your own lack of fear.

The opinions and views of Kevin Lemon are not necessarily the views of the Viewsual Suspects.

fin

Relationship Revelation.By Kevin Lemon.

I was reading a blog that a friend posted up on facebook that asked a very interesting question to black women. It was the classic target your own race in a subject that could very well be open to any ethnic background, but that’s another topic all together.

Let’s get to the subject at hand please.

Okay. The topic and question that was posed was “Are you wifey? or are you pussy?  Listing different attributes, behaviors, and tell tell signals that signify if you as a black woman or should I say any woman are the former or the latter. It was hilarious how this guy goes down the list of things that signify that you are just pussy and that a guy will not marry you if you behave or are received in a certain way.  I will even repost some pieces of the blog write now, pun intended. Here’s one that I thought was laughable below.

“Have you met his family? I’m not talking about his boys at the smoke house who he chills with and you happen to tag along. Has his mother laid eyes on you? I remember sneaking this girl into my mother’s house and she caught me. I was pissed because this girl was dumb as a brick, and my mother is nosey. My mother asked how she was doing and the bitch stood there as if she were asked to name elements from the periodic table. For years she joked me about the “retarded chinky eyed girl”. If he’s feeling you, you’ll meet the people who are most important to him. Being in the car and waving “hi” or seeing someone for a minute isn’t an introduction. Stop being smuggled hoe!”

This is once again, a traditional model of ideas snatched up from romantic comedies and it’s all bull shit and I will explain why.

I have had girls that have met my parents and family members that I had no intentions of marrying. I have had girls that were smart, witty, beautiful and still had no intentions of marrying them. Ladies, there is nothing that you can do to get a guy to make you his wifey. Nothing outside of being yourself and the guy wanting to make you wifey in the first place. You could be as dumb as a rock. or as smart as the computer that beat all those guys at Jeopardy and it wouldn’t matter. If the guy wants to make a commitment that is just a superficial symbol of servitude to religious, societal standards and governmental bonus incentives, Then he will do just that. But he will do it because he wants to. Not because you did anything. And even if they are stupid enough to let someone make them get married that still meant they wanted to do it in the first place.

Okay. I see what you are getting at. But isn’t that just like giving up?

It’s just like the old saying that alot of Christians use haphazardly. Letting go and letting God. Or as I would say a little more matter of factly, letting go and enjoying and appreciating life, Letting the chips fall where they may. Just being the best woman you can be. Forcing and sweating the issue has the very slight possibility of ending well. But I think just being gives you a better chance at getting what you want without the stress and pain of not getting it if you do not succeed.

I believe that you have greatness in you. I believe that your greatness is more than the worth that someone outside of yourself can grant it. Your greatness is yours to cultivate. And when you come to that realization then you don’t have to beg for what you want. Or change who you are to get what you want. It becomes who you are and your wants come to you. Isn’t that better than listening to someone spewing if you are wifey or pussy?

No you are not wifey or pussy. You’re much more than any idea that someone can come up with to put you in a box. You are creation, You are God. You are what you believe yourself to be. And that should be enough for anybody.

The Assertion of Maleness.

By Kevin Lemon

We are an interesting breed aren’t we? And when I say we I mean the heterosexual male. It has been my experience that we have two behavioral patterns down pat. We assert our maleness through conquest for one. And for two we have to at all times hide our weaknesses. That is what it means to be a man. Not only in this society but in the majority of cultures. No wonder the deities in the dominant cultures are male. Our leaders for the most part continue to be male. And any sign of weakness in males in these societies are looked at in either two ways. You are a homosexual and homosexuality is bad. And you are a wuss and that’s bad too. So we jump through hoops to win acclaim and respect from not only ourselves but the women in society as well. Our maleness depends on their approval too. And the greatest way to estimate a woman’s approval of us is to get them to…….Gasp…….Sleep with us. Nothing asserts our maleness more than winning the favor and sexual desire of the most sought after women. This is the proof of our status. Never mind how we truly feel about them as individuals. It’s mostly  to fuel the already fiery ego that engulfs us when we are heralded as the top of the crop. But it also blinds us to the truth that we are doomed to being less than a feat for aspirations and less about our humility and character. I am as much a participant in this behavior than anyone I know. And that is why I am writing this article. I feel deep inside that I as well as the majority of us have been trying to define our importance by how many women we sleep with, How much money we have, How good we are at fighting and inflicting damage to others and How resourceful we are. Anything beyond that is child’s play. We are without a doubt in competition with each other for honor, sex, and the necessities, (you know? food, water, shelter) But how far does one go to prove himself? What type of moral responsibility do we have not only to ourselves but to our society as a whole. How can we live in a world where there isn’t this hyper primitive way of thinking that drives our actions. I am not a religious person in the least but at least the religions though contradictorily do advocate the idea of humility, patience, kindness, and humbleness. While at the same time advising stoning. Nothings perfect, but I think the former ideas are something to aspire to. But most, Even the most religious people do not. In fact, I think they mostly prefer the stoning over the humility.

So where does that lead us?

I don’t know where it leads you. But it leads me to the conclusion that I need to rethink how I interact with people and become more than my surroundings, friends, and society suggests. I have been trying to prove my maleness not only to myself but to others around me. In competition with them over what I thought was important. But I realize that my moral, and ethical responsibility to my self is to become successful at accomplishing creative and financial goals and not to achieve those goals at the expense of others. A difficult task indeed. To celebrate everyone’s differences rather than use those differences as a marker of what I think is appropriate ways of being. We too often condemn people for being themselves while hypocritically hiding our own indiscretions and what we deem as weaknesses. If all of those things that I listed above is what is a sign of my maleness, my importance in society, and my reason for being. Then I think I need to rethink my position of importance. And rewrite the conditions for myself. Equality is the goal no matter how impossible it is to realize.

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