The Numbers Game
We are an interesting breed aren’t we? And when I say we I mean the heterosexual male. It has been my experience that we have two behavioral patterns down pat. We assert our maleness through conquest for one. And for two we have to at all times hide our weaknesses. That is what it means to be a man. Not only in this society but in the majority of cultures. No wonder the deities in the dominant cultures are male. Our leaders for the most part continue to be male. And any sign of weakness in males in these societies are looked at in either two ways. You are a homosexual and homosexuality is bad. And you are a wuss and that’s bad too. So we jump through hoops to win acclaim and respect from not only ourselves but the women in society as well. Our maleness depends on their approval too. And the greatest way to estimate a woman’s approval of us is to get them to…….Gasp…….Sleep with us. Nothing asserts our maleness more than winning the favor and sexual desire of the most sought after women. This is the proof of our status. Never mind how we truly feel about them as individuals. It’s mostly to fuel the already fiery ego that engulfs us when we are heralded as the top of the crop. But it also blinds us to the truth that we are doomed to being less than a feat for aspirations and less about our humility and character. I am as much a participant in this behavior than anyone I know. And that is why I am writing this article. I feel deep inside that I as well as the majority of us have been trying to define our importance by how many women we sleep with, How much money we have, How good we are at fighting and inflicting damage to others and How resourceful we are. Anything beyond that is child’s play. We are without a doubt in competition with each other for honor, sex, and the necessities, (you know? food, water, shelter) But how far does one go to prove himself? What type of moral responsibility do we have not only to ourselves but to our society as a whole. How can we live in a world where there isn’t this hyper primitive way of thinking that drives our actions. I am not a religious person in the least but at least the religions though contradictorily do advocate the idea of humility, patience, kindness, and humbleness. While at the same time advising stoning. Nothings perfect, but I think the former ideas are something to aspire to. But most, Even the most religious people do not. In fact, I think they mostly prefer the stoning over the humility.
So where does that lead us?
I don’t know where it leads you. But it leads me to the conclusion that I need to rethink how I interact with people and become more than my surroundings, friends, and society suggests. I have been trying to prove my maleness not only to myself but to others around me. In competition with them over what I thought was important. But I realize that my moral, and ethical responsibility to my self is to become successful at accomplishing creative and financial goals and not to achieve those goals at the expense of others. A difficult task indeed. To celebrate everyone’s differences rather than use those differences as a marker of what I think is appropriate ways of being. We too often condemn people for being themselves while hypocritically hiding our own indiscretions and what we deem as weaknesses. If all of those things that I listed above is what is a sign of my maleness, my importance in society, and my reason for being. Then I think I need to rethink my position of importance. And rewrite the conditions for myself. Equality is the goal no matter how impossible it is to realize.